Boomers, Character Is What We Do When No One Is Looking

Midlife Celebration Excellence

Recently, I posted a blog comment for a friend who asked his readers for advice on an ethical business decision he was facing. Most people suggested that he not worry about “lying” and just do it. I suggested that he let his own conscious be his guide. Interestingly though, he did not seem to understand that character is what we do when no one is looking. To know is to do. To know and not do, is to not yet know.

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Monday Leadership Advice

Dear jeff, as you think about your future, and the very real option of retiring at 55, you have been bestowed a gift that has always been there, but you’ve only now been able to unwrap it.

What is this gift?

It is the gift of purpose. And your purpose is to set the example. Not through negotiation and logic, but simply by being authentic.

Jeff, maybe you can help others unwrap their gift too…Next Blog

Is Your Moral Compass Calibrated?

Or Do You Go Wherever The Wind Blows?
Is Your Moral Compass Calibrated? Or Do You Go Wherever The Wind Blows?

My college friend Skip Gaskill returns (lucky us). Leadership is a 24/7 commitment. Or not. Skip helps us understand the HUGE difference between part-time and full-time commitment.

Never forget, someone is always watching.

Take it away Skip:

As I drive to work in the morning I usually listen to either the news or sports talk radio.  One of the popular Sports Talk programs I listen to is called the Sports Junkies…a group of five locals who are in their late 20’s/early 30’s who talk about the local professional teams.  They spend roughly 75% of the time talking about sports but the other 25% of the time they talk about anything and everything.  I enjoy their banter about sports but when they enter the other 25% I change the station.

Why?  In the course of their discussions they clearly articulate, to their own amusement as well as their audience’s, how they lack integrity, courage, commitment, self discipline, and a calibrated moral compass.

All of these men are married with children.  What message are they sending?  Are we endorsing this kind of behavior by listening?

I recently saw some commercials on television that were subtle recommendations to do the right thing.  It can be as simple as giving up your seat on a bus to an elder or not cheating on a test.  I wish there were more of them.

We all need to do a better job.  Go out of your way to do the right thing…even when no one is looking….because someone is always looking.  Happy Holidays.

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Integrity or Incongruencies?

Humanity Is Hungry For Integrity
Humanity Is Hungry For Integrity

Integrity or Incongruencies, by my friend, Bob Stewart:

I was recently listening to a message from one of my former college Bible professors who became a full-time pastor after retiring from teaching.  He was talking about a time when he was a professor, and he told a story from one of his experiences of being on the executive committee that evaluated potential faculty members for hire.

In this story, the available position was for a Greek language professor in the Biblical Studies department, and they had narrowed it down to three candidates.  However, he knew there was one candidate that stood head and shoulders above all of the other candidates, so they decided to extend one final interview before making the offer.

Being as this was a small college, the environment was very much like a family.  And to that end, if you took a faculty position there, your whole family made the commitment to be there.  So during the final interview, my former professor invited this excellent candidate and his wife to a meal to get to know the family better.

During that meal, though, something strange happened.  The candidate became angry at his wife over something very insignificant, and he belittled her.  The professor went on to note that she responded like it had been something that was fairly normal.  By the end of that meal, the candidate was no longer a candidate.  Why?

Incongruencies?

The candidate had a great résumé and presented himself well in the interview process, but a single moment in public was all it took to pull back the curtain, revealing the incongruencies of this man’s character.  Likewise, what would people see if the curtains of our lives were pulled back?

Integrity is a tough word to define, but a commonly accepted definition is to consistently hold to a standard of moral or ethical values.  Now we aren’t perfect, and there will be times when we mess up.  But the bottom line is this – it is all about trust.  If you routinely send mixed signals about your level of integrity, people will not have confidence in you to be trustworthy.  That’s not just in the business world, but in life.

Does your description have a “but” in it?

The takeaway from this is simple: does your description have a “but” in it?  When people at work, home, social circles, church, etc. describe you, do they add a disclaimer?  “He’s really good at what he does, BUT…” or “She is really sweet, BUT…”  This is a challenge to me as well as to you – try to live your life without a disclaimer!  Give people no reason to add the “but.”

Ok, back to my words. Thank you, Bob. Thought-provoking insight.

What you do speaks so loudly, i can’t hear what you say.

We all have blind spots. Our goal is to become aware and slay as many of them as possible.

The interviewer may have had an opportunity to gift the “annoyed” husband and interviewee with a powerful observation – in private, of course.

To assume someone can’t change might be an error. It might not. This is why we have to decide and move on with our work (and our life).

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Slow & Steady

Not All Trails In Life Are Clearly Marked
Not All Trails In Life Are Clearly Marked

Ever have big plans and a long list of things to get done? How do those days normally work out? If you’re like me you win some and you loose some.

Friday, three days ago, was like that. Some stuff needing to get done, didn’t. Some stuff not on the list got done, wow!

One step closer to some big dreams.

Slow and steady wins the race.

Patience is a virtue. So is humility. And forgiveness. Even in the business world.

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